Blah!

This blog was written on September 25.

Blah as opposed to blah, blah, blah, sums up my current demeanor. Enthusiasm-blah. Contentedness-blah. Progress-blahhhhhhh. For the first time ever I have wistfully looked into the distance picturing what would happen if I gave everything up and ran back to America. Obviously that's not an option as I am tied up in grants, promises, and pride. I'm at the 15-month mark, and fighting hard not to be jaded. Idealism has long been chucked out the window but I'm not yet a cynic. It's probably going to get better and with America and France to look forward to in just 74 days (not that I'm counting), I know I can make it. I have every intention of coming back reenergized and motivated to close out my service with a smile.

After I leave the internet cafe I'm off to a 40 cent lunch of rice, beans, and extremely greasy greens. Then the routine. Buy a package of pasta, enough candles to last the week and a handful of tomatos, onions, peppers, and garlic. Squeeze myself and belongings in between a village of people to secure my 2inch 'seat' on the bus. Fight with the conductor over the real price and 'mzungu' (white) price and find my happy place. Thankfully the ride is only about 20 minutes, up to 40 depending on the amount of police stops and drunk people. Then I sit on a bicycle for an additional 30, return home and carefully inspect for any sign of rats/army ants/cockroaches/cat poop/or bees nests.

Today I have a meeting with the mama's batik group. We are discussing batik patterns which we will then hire a village artist to draw. I am really dragging my feet in the mud with this project as I have major reservations. I'm unsure of the professional, artistic, and business capabilities of the women. One thing that reassures me, however, is their enthusiasm. Perhaps it's unfair to say I'm worried about their potential shortcomings. Truthfully I’m more concerned that I'm not able to lead a fledgling business.

For a quick update: The toilets are near completed although I have just been asked for an additional $500. While the Tanzanians working on this project are absolutely not stealing, they are tapping me to the last penny. They assume that I am an endless source of money and patience. Mid-way through the project they decided to change some of the building plans without consulting me on the cost. I am completely against a wall here and have no choice but to comply. Thankfully, I have received private donations for the toilets that supplement new costs.

The chickens are plumping up daily and have received their vaccinations and TLC like clock work. Unfortunately this clock work is largely dependent on myself and counterpart being present. Not a day goes by that I visit the chicken coup, wading around barefoot in chicken shit, and realizing the students and teachers have overlooked the completely dry water dish or food trough. Oops. I started passive-aggressively telling some people if the 'volunteers' don't start taking their job more seriously, come laying time, I'll be reaping 100 eggs a day for myself.

The orphan garden is on hold until just before the rains. Our village, like all other villages, is having a major water crisis. Crisis being-there is no water. With hardly enough to bathe, wash dishes, cook, and boil drinking water, I am in no position to start a sprawling vegetable garden. This project must wait until early November. I do plan on FINALLY making a house-to-house orphan quality of life assessment this month. The next step is also to identify children living with 1 parent but in unsuitable conditions.

This week I will be painting our labor-room a breezy summer blue. The room is dismal and makes giving birth look like a punishable offense. The women are currently delivering (sans ANY medicine) on a wooden, rickety bed because the government issued hospital bed is broken. At least when I get through with the room, hopefully adding silk flowers and pretty curtains, the room will feel less, well, abysmal. Did I mention that 1 day after popping out a baby au natural, you walk home, child strapped to your back, personal belongings in hand? No. Thank. You.

All else is fiiine. Will try to stay in better touch.

xoxo,

Kate